Shaken

I am being

S  h  A  k  E  n

The Lord is stirring me up and shaking loose in my life some things that I need to get rid of....

Yesterday at our church we had a worship meeting which we have about 3-4 times a year.  Every time they are a little different.  This particular meeting was about spiritual warfare, and the way that we as individuals and as our church body are entering a season of MAJOR spiritual battle.  We were all on board with one of our leaders as he spoke about what he's been experiencing in the last few weeks.  Many have been feeling the attacks as well... the pressure the kingdom of darkness is trying to put on our lives to hinder us from moving forward.  Afterwards we had a time where we just worshiped.  We sang, we read Scripture, we gave thanks, and we spoke over our worship teams. 

A friend of mine stood up and passed on a vision that was given to her from a couple years ago about how a farmer, in order to produce the best crops, must shake a fruit tree at the end of a harvest season.  They shake it violently to rid it of the left over fruit - the fruit that is over ripened or not fit for sale.  If they do this, the next year's harvest will be increased, and the tree lets go of all this dying fruit so it can continue to grow.  A tree that does not get released of the fruit in this way can still produce fruit, but not in the capacity that it could.  The tree will always stay small and under-grown.

I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, 

He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, 

He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. 

john 15:1 - 2

I immediately felt that little nudge on my heart as she spoke, and I started to cry.  God has been shaking me over these last few weeks.... trying to get me to let go of perfection, let go of over-responsibility, let go of the fear of being just me.  To let people see my heart and not just my mind.

God is not letting me get away with things anymore.  I have been bombarded over the last 3 weeks with a sad reality (really I'm sure he's been trying to tell me all along, but now I'm understanding).

I am too performance driven, 

                              too logic driven, 

                                        too "A+" driven.   

I have put up these walls so that everyone will like the fact that I'm responsible, that I get things done, I do stuff right, and I'm "oh so wise"  (I'm not, trust me).  Not that any of these qualities in and of themselves are bad, but they are when they are you're everything.  When they override you just being you and when they are the reason you hold back from others.  When they are reason you choose to handle paperwork instead of meet with someone and really talk about your life.  When they keep you from being who God wants you to be!

........ I'm not going to get away with it anymore.

The shaking hurts!!!  It's painful.... I don't like it.....

but Lord, I will do it for you. 

You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.  

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. 

No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. 

Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.    

I am the vine; you are the branches. 

If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; 

apart from me you can do nothing.  

If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that 

is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, 

thrown into the fire and burned. 

If you remain in me and my words remain in you,

ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

john 15: 3-7